Where I’m going and where I’ve been. (Holiday debriefing)

The holidays were strange this year. That’s relatively typical. It seems there’s always something going on during the holidays that keep me from being able to relax into them.

Yule Lights
Yule Lights

The past 2 years, I worked retail, and I was stressed, overworked, undersleeping, and in a lot of pain. This year seemed to be a little more positive, as I wasn’t working retail (though I wasn’t working at all, and that would put a crimp in my shopping), but I just felt better about my holidays.

And then, after months of back-and-forth health, my grandmother passed on December 10th.

We knew it was coming, and had spent most of October, November, and December in the hospital or rehab with her, but it was still rough.

Then came the weeks and weeks of endless car trouble. Lots, and lots of car trouble. Like one thing would go wrong, then another, then another. (As of now, January 7th, my car is still in a shop somewhere awaiting the delivery and installation of a part that was ruined by a tow truck guy.)

Then, because of the chaos and trying to visit Grandma and deal with my car, I got behind on my knitting projects for my mom and sister. So the last few days before Xmas were taken up with the medieval torture of high-pressure speed knitting. (I finally got everything done at the very last minute. Seriously, 11:30 the night before I was supposed to give them their gifts.)

Add in my sister’s mental breakdown Xmas eve, and the fibro pain that comes from all the stress, and the holidays were a bit rough.

There were some high points, however.

We celebrated a traditional, all night Yule with a local Pagan group. It’s not a coven in the traditional sense, but a group of people who celebrate together. And while it does have SOME of the trappings of an organized group, and there are always people in a group I just can’t seem to vibe with, overall it was a wonderful experience. I was my typical introverted, quiet self, but still managed to meet some amazing people. These are people that I genuinely want to be friends, and I’m really excited about that.

Friends C and J were also there, and I got to spend a little more time with them. Bear even showed up after a long, grueling day at the bookstore, and managed to stay awake for most of the festivities.

Another fabulous thing happened as well. I shared a link to RavenGrove Radio on Facebook, which entered me into a contest to win a gorgeous altar made by Emerald Pagan. First of all, I was excited to find RavenGrove, because they play a lot more of the kind of Pagan music I tend to listen to. I shy away from the endless hours and days of Pagan folk music that exist out there, because after a while they start becoming sort of generic. But RavenGrove picks the really good stuff that I enjoy listening to. And the intersperse it with a lot of world fusion and other music that I love. This is the sort of stuff I always want to find on Spotify, but I don’t know where to look.

Not only did I find a Pagan Internet radio station I love, but I also won the altar. I’ve spoken with the woman who runs the station, and while I wasn’t able to meet her in person, we may meet for coffee at some point. Time permitting, which is as much up to me as fate and circumstances.

Yule Altar
Yule Altar

So at the end of 2014, things started really shaping up in the friendship department. I also finished my novel in May. There were some bad things that happened; my grandmother’s health problems, my car problems, computer malfunctions, phone malfunctions, my own health problems, etc. I’m ready to let 2014 go, and take the positive things that happened with me into 2015.

In fact, 2015 isn’t just a new year for me. In mid-January, I turn 40. It’s the beginning of an entirely new decade. And while my 30s were a time of trials, tragedies, disappointments, and desperation, my 40s will be the years where I make my dreams come true. It’s time to stop being a victim of circumstance, and take control of my life, my profession, and my overall happiness. I still have my lovely husband by my side, I have kick-ass friends that want good things for me, and everything will be great.  I was also able to buy myself a computer (which I haven’t had for a long time), and upgrade my phone,( though I was kind of forced to when my old phone ate my SD card.)  Still, things really do seem to be shaping up.

We’ll be heading to Savannah in a few days to celebrate my birthday, and I get to visit Bonaventure Cemetery, which has been on my bucket list for a while now.  🙂

To celebrate this new year and this new decade, I’ve also started working on Leonie Dawson’s ‘Create your Shining Year 2015′. <> It’s really been helping me look forward to a positive new start in my new year, new decade, new Amie.


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