So this is my last day of my 30s. I’m feeling a bit pensive, as one would. So between weirdly scheduled appointments on opposite sides of town, I’m finding myself with a lot of time to kill. Right now I’m here at Morgan Falls Overlook Park. I’m almost alone, except for some loud asshole, speaking on the phone in a language I don’t recognize. But that’s neither here nor there. Looks like he’s leavng anyways.
Last time I was here, I was with friend C and the husbear, doing a Samhain ritual. There were geese everywhere. They’re here again today, DOZENS of them, bleak and chilly though it may be. I’m incredibly grateful. They remind me of the friendships I’ve forged over this past decade and how important they’ve been to me. That’s something I want to bring forward into my next ten (hopefully) years.
I’m also making a list of things I want to let go of from my 30s. If you know me well, you know about some of the people and things that have caused me pain. Some I’m still living with, and I hope to do so with grace and courage. I have no choice. Some I’m letting go of, as they’ve taught me the lessons I needed to learn, and they no longer serve a purpose in my life.
I’m going to burn that list. 🙂
Other good things to come out of my 30s are a finished novel (yay!), an amazing marriage (yay!), a sense of my own power, quiet though it may be, and a sense of gratitude for all the small things that bring joy to daily life. Sometimes you have to lose a lot to find that gratitude.
Things I want to create in my 40s: self-confidence, peace, travel, financial stability, health stability, and more and more good days with my bear. I’d also really like to move. I’ve lived in my house for 10 years, and while it’s important to me, it also holds a lot of negativity from the last decade. I feel like I can move on and find more peace somewhere else.
My major short term goal is to pluck up the courage to find beta readers for my novel and short stories, finish editing, and put my stuff ‘out there’. It’s terrifying, and I would be lying if I said that I won’t have to employ the ‘fake it till I make it’ method. But I think my story is pretty good, my characters are pretty good, and my world is somewhere that I would like to live. I hope readers will agree some day.