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Hi there! I found your blog through your Youtube channel tonight. Love it! You are inspiring me to rekindle my own blog 🙂
I just listened to your episode of Bewitching Your Day on Polyamory and wanted to comment on it.
I have started off in a long-distance, long term (lasted almost a decade) relationship that was everything I could’ve wanted at the time. However, due to distance and other circumstances, we drifted apart and eventually, the relationship ended. I knew I wasn’t completely straight, and we had talked about it before and during our dating. Talking about it, and him accepting it turned into two totally different things in the end. It may sound odd, but it felt like my orientation had shifted and on top of not being physically attracted to him anymore (I very much still loved him though,) he couldn’t handle it after telling me that I could try dating other women.
I was exposed to polyamory through one of the first women I opened up to before taking the plunge into trying to date. It felt right and like a coming home feeling – similar to how I felt when I first began to explore paganism and Wicca. I knew I had made the right choice in no longer ignoring and denying how I felt and have I feel more alive and comfortable in my own skin than I think I ever have in my adult years.
I am now in a great poly relationship with my girlfriend who is also poly and pansexual. I feel open and free in dating whomever (no matter the gender or orientation.) Similar to what you said, I am also in search of romantic relationships – not just multiple partners to sleep with. I will say that I’ve discovered I’m a huge cuddle-bug since then, and definitely not as vanilla as I thought!
The only downside is that it’s hard here where I live to find others open to polyamory. Most people are just looking for monogamous relationships, or think polyamory is an excuse to cheat or just sleep around. It’s a bit disheartening and sad, but I am happy here and hopefully will be moving soon to a better community.
I’d love to hear an update episode possibly on how you maintain your relationship now as you mentioned in the notes of that show. 🙂
Thank you so much for talking so openly about this! <3
Thank you so much for the comment. I’m so glad that you’ve found your best relationship style, and I’m glad you have a girlfriend who can match what you’re looking for in a relationship! That always makes things easier when everyone is coming from the same space of openness.
Honestly, the update is that I’m still polyamorous in theory, but not necessarily in practice. I dated for a few years, both with Husbear and without, but I realized how much it was draining my energy. I was just exhausted all the time trying to take care of everyone’s feelings, while ignoring my own. So the last person I really cared about kind of crushed me (on a friendship level, not romantic), and I just decided to give myself a break from poly.
So I WOULD date someone if someone extraordinary came along and made the idea irresistable, but I’m not really looking. I’m focusing more on writing and developing my tarot practice. Husbear would date, as he hasn’t had the emotional pain from dating others, but he doesn’t feel like he has the time or energy for it. So we’re poly in theory, but not necessarily in practice. We’ll just have to see what the future holds!
Thank you again for the comment, and hope you have a great Mabon! <3
Thank you for the update! 🙂
I totally get with what you mean about being poly in theory lol
In my case, I have so much I’m juggling – work, creative projects and my upcoming move that I have no energy to look at the moment.
I’d love to in the future though 🙂 Maybe after things calm down!
Like you, I would date if someone amazing came along, and totally don’t mind my girlfriend dating others as well, but until then I’ll be poly in theory myself.
Blessed Mabon! 🙂
Thank you very much Amy that was very on pointing / insight about that Deck,
Swettie you’re awesome blessings and love to you 💯🤗
Love to you too, Barbara! I hope everything is great for you. <3