Birthday creativity block

My birthdays are never all that great.. Something always comes up or important people forget or people are sick or dying or die around my bday… There’s just always something..

So I’ve learned to dread my natal return year after year..

I had just begun to feel hopeful about this one when I had a horrible argument with my mom that left me drinking and crying for the rest of the night.. We then woke this am to find that Phantom’s mom had some pretty gnarly emergency surgery last night.. At Mom’s tonight (which I was dreading), things were fine except she’s hurt her back so horribly that she could barely move..

Can I just fucking skip bdays from now on? I wouldn’t mind missing 1/12 of my life if I could just sleep through the entire month of January.. That would be stellar, thanks.

I don’t mean to bitch.. I honestly save this sort of thing for my personal blog.. But I just wanted to say that that’s why I didn’t write yesterday. I feel justified here. It’s not even a strike because it’s not as if I just fucked off on my duties. I had some real-life things that sucked away my urge to create anything..

But here’s the thing.. There’s ALWAYS some new catastrophe around the corner.. Shit ALWAYS happens. That’s the nature of shit. What do I do when I lose my momentum due to the happening of the shit?

I don’t know. That’s why I’m a professional customer service drone and not a professional author.. But I’m hoping to get there. I DO want this to be my profession. I just need to keep plugging away, even if I fall off the writing wagon, and make it happen for myself.

It’s up to me, because nobody else will ever be as invested in my success as I will.

So it’s time to shut up and write. 🙂