Turned a corner

I did something last night that makes me unreasonably proud.  I printed the first of 5 parts of my book.  I did that so that Phantom can attack it with a purple pen.  (His favorite color).

I know that there are a lot of things that need to be changed, but a unique view point will definitely help.  He can spot things in the story that I won’t since I’m so involved in it.  I’m really looking forward to seeing what he says about it. 

Also, I asked him to be completely brutal.  I’m not sure if he will, but I trust him to help since he wants me to succeed in this as well.  He’s tired of seeing me scream at my computer and bang on my keyboard in frustration with my chat job.

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2 things that I know I need to rewrite…

1. The characters need unique voices.  I can see them in my head, but I can’t hear them when I read the dialogue.  Everyone sounds just the same.  I need to learn how to write an Irish brogue for one character.  Not one that’s unnecessarily flowery and difficult to read, but one that seems somewhat believable and adds to the characterization.

2. My protagonist lives in her head too much.  Granted, this is the part of the story where she’s mopey and emo, but pages of description about how she putters around the house is NOT interesting.  There needs to be more action.  I think this happened because *I* live way too much in my head. 

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One of the big things I picked up from the writing workshops at D*con last year was not to make your characters overly precious.  Bad things need to happen to them to move the story along. 

I just wrote a scene where bad things just kept happening to my character, AND I LOVED IT!  I honestly think it was the best part of the book so far.  Again these were things taken from my life, so that’s kind of bitter sweet.  😀

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Things to focus on next.  I need to introduce an animal for the second part.  Also, I need to figure out how to bring in a character from the outside world.  Maybe they’ll show up together somehow?

 

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